Troubled Heart
by roseeyes
Summary: Even though they raised me, I cut off my ties with the clan long ago. So why...why do they come now that I'm actually HAPPY for the first time in my life! Yukina is on constant danger now because of ME...! - A story of love and loss told from Hiei's POV.
1. Prologue Of Humans and Fools

Hello! roseeyes here with another story! ^^ Honestly, I've written more Yu Yu Hakusho fanfictions than any other thing, but they tend to be so long that they are rarely posted. But this time things will be different! This story is story is told in Hiei's point of view only, just to clear up some identity questions. I tried my best to capture his character as I see it. Hope everyone enjoys it!

Prologue: Of Humans and Fools

I've never claimed to understand humans. To me, they are no more than food - an idiotic, vile race that exists for no other reason than... there is no reason for them to exist. The human race as a whole has got to be one of God's biggest jokes - they mill about in their metal cities, driving noisy mechanisms, living short, boring, routine lives, and still they try to mask the most carnal of instincts with logic, making what is hiding the mask called humanity that much more apparent.  
"And then that rat-faced teacher said..."  
Bringing me back to the issue at hand. Unlike most demons, and humans, in fact, I actually listen - not just to conversations, but to everything. So there I was, listening to an idiot's boring account of his problems, saving someone's precious ears from having to hear it. Heh, some days I can be quite the humanitarian.  
"A-And then-"  
I let out a growling sigh. "Why don't you save us both some trouble and just kill him?"  
That idea seemed to horrify him. "I-I can't do that!"  
"Why not?" "B-Because..." Oh dear, I've overloaded his poor little brain... "Humans can't just kill each other! It's against the law!"  
Does he not watch the...'news' that Kurama loves so much? Apparently, he is disgruntled by my look. "Shorty, you wouldn't just go up to a demon and kill it for no reason, would you?"  
I gave him a look that commented his intelligence, or lack thereof, I should say. "Okay, that's a bad example, but still!"  
His stupidity never ceases to amaze me. "If you're going to complain, then at least do something about it!" I was beyond irritated. "If he keeps purposefully giving you low grades, then get smarter where you can get a perfect score!"  
He remained silent, as if trying to wrap his overworked brain around my words. "Ask Kurama to help you." I continued, wanting this exchange to be over. "I'm sure that what you are studying will seem like remedial classes to him. I don't see why you humans have to go to school, anyway. It's just a way to waste time on something that you will never use ever again."  
The fool was still gaping at me.

A/N: And there you have it! This was just so that you got a feel for the way that Hiei will be portrayed in this story. I feel that not enough spotlight was given to Hiei in the show, so I felt that I could express some of the things I got from his behavior in the show in this story! Please, speak to me! Review! Tell your friends! SOMETHING!!! I love you all!

roseeyes out! 


	2. What I wouldn't give

Here is the first chapter of my story! I hope everyone likes it!

Chapter 1: What I wouldn't do...

The feeling of regret is nothing new to me. Everything, everything from an unsaid word or a thoughtless action can spawn regret in a soul. Most regret comes from shame, but understand, I am ashamed of nothing that I have done. My only regret comes from my own weakness, that I don't have the courage to tell Yukina the truth.  
Beautiful music filled my ears, drifting through the halls of Genkai's temple. I would never admit it, of course, but I loved this place. It was like an island unto itself - set apart, yet still very much a part of the human world. Kind of like me, I guess: Part of the world,yet ultimately set apart from it; but then again, I like it that way.  
Slowly, I rose from the porch and drift towards the sound coming from deep within the temple. I hated being in enclosed places such as houses and the like, it comes with living outdoors all of your life; which sounds contradictory to me loving the temple, but deal with it, I don't understand it myself.  
"Wow, baby!" I heard the idiot drawl as I round the corner, peering into the room from the entryway. Yukina was sitting in front of an ancient piano, playing a melody that I recognized all too well. She paid no attention to the fool and kept playing, the sleeves of her kimono whispering against the old wood as she strummed on the keys. "That's so beautiful! Almost as beautiful as you!"  
She smiled, seeming to put more emphasis on the notes, which was uneeded, considering how well she was doing. Her song filled me with both happiness and sadness, because...this was the song that our mother sang to us when we were born, that was the only time I was able to be with her and Yukina at the same time before I was tossed off of the island, and shortly after that, she was killed... Which saved me from having to kill her myself.  
Suddenly, Yukina stumbled over the notes, her hands hesitant. "What's wrong?" Kuwabara asked, leaning over her.  
Her eyes were so sad, pleading as she looked up at him... "I...I can't remember the end of the song, Kazuma!" She looked close to tears. "This song is all that I have left of my mother, and I can't remember the end!"  
His face softened "Yukina...don't cry..."  
"Why can't I remember it?" She asked, burying her face in her hands. "Why?"  
"Baby...don't you remember your mom?"  
"Of course." She sniffled "But it's not just that, Kazuma...mother sang this song to my brother and I after she gave birth to us, so in a way..." She burst into tears again "this is the only thing that I have left of my brother!"  
Kuwabara embraced her shaking form, holding her to him, both of them lost in their own little world. I sighed, knowing that I was going to regret this.  
I padded silently to the piano, the two of them oblivious to my presence...that is, until I began playing. One handed, I picked up where she left off, strumming my right hand across the keys, singing the song softly in my head to make sure I had the notes right. I raised my other hand to the keyboard when it came to the end, the most complicated part. Playing both soft and deep notes at the same time, I finish the song of my koorime mother, the last note seeming to hang in the silent air.  
A gasp sounded. Immediately I snapped back into reality to stare into Yukina's shocked face. Crap.  
"Hiei..." Her eyes were growing wider by the second "how...do you know...that song...?"  
Double crap. I'm mentally kicking myself as I reply as indifferently as possible. "I've heard it before." I shrugged, hoping that my act was playing off well. "I am a thief - I remember everything that I see and hear; maybe I've heard you play it before. Who knows?"  
At the mention of my profession, her crimson orbs grow cold. Naming my unchosen role of being a criminal always sets everyone ill at ease, as if their pathetic minds cannot fathom stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. Of course, Yukina has anything but a pathetic mind, but then again....she is too good for this world.  
"Hiei." Her very tone sounds like chipped ice as her eyes harden all the more, although knowing her, the little doesn't even realize it. "Stealing is wrong. How can you admit to something like that so easily, without any remorse at all? How can-"  
Almost as if to save me, a sound reaches my ears. I thrust out my arm, signaling her to be quiet. My hand is already at my sword as I stalk towards the door, silently crouching down.  
Kuwabara rises. "Shorty, what's-"  
I glare at him, a signal that he understands well enough. He moves Yukina behind him, backing away until they are both behind the piano. I narrow my eyes, scanning the forest for anything out of place. Having raised myself, my ears are rarely wrong,and my eyes miss hardly anything. I knew that I had heard something. Metal against metal, as if a weapon had been drawn-  
There! I leap, drawing my sword simultaneously. It's over in less than a second. As I land, still facing the woods, two halves of a syringe needle clatter to my side.  
"...Very clever, brother Hiei."  
It felt as if my blood froze in my veins, although no one would be able to sense it. A woman stood in front of me, a woman I had hoped to never see again. A woman with angel-blonde hair and green serpent-like eyes that still haunted my nightmares.  
My eyes narrowed further as I stood, feeling my voice drip with hate. "Kirie."  
She smiles,her fangs gleaming against her lips. "It's so good to see you, Hiei. How are you?"  
Like the fool he was, Kuwabara stepped forward into her line of sight. Her serpentine eyes flicked to him, but he paid her no attention. "Hey Hiei," He whispered, as if Kirie couldn't hear him "is she a friend of yours?" Her grin widened. "Oh Hiei! You brought me a snack...!"  
I stepped in front of Kuwabara, a growl of my own escaping my lips. Her eyes widen "Hiei... I didn't think you cared about humans...!"  
"...State your business, serpent."  
"..." All at once her smile disappears. "The leader of our clan has died."  
I feel my heart sink, yet force my face to stay emotionless. "You are the rightful heir to the clan, brother Hiei - you are the leader's adopted son."  
The fool tensed behind me. "Hiei...what is she talking about? Who is this woman?!"  
Kirie grimaces "You really should teach your food not to talk, Hiei. It's rude."  
I ingored her. "She is a member of the clan who raised me, 'Kirie the serpent'. If you value your sanity, human, don't look into her eyes. Her gaze is more powerful than that of my jagan."  
At this he looked straight to the floor. Maybe he'll take the hint and not complicate everything more by talking. I turn my full attention back to her. "I cut ties with the clan long ago. Your personal problems mean nothing to me." I glared at her to solidify my point. "I suggest you leave."  
"..." Her grin came back with a vengance, her forked tongue licking her lips. "You know, Hiei...when you left us, you deprived us of something we needed badly - an heir. So maybe, just maybe to persuade you to come back..."  
To my horror, Yukina came into view beside Kuwabara, her eyes filled with curiousity and fear. "Hiei?"  
"We will have to take something precious to you." "Get down!" I screamed, throwing myself forward to intercept her attack. She stopped my katana with her bare hand, giving a maniacal laugh as she punched me in the face. I vaulted back off of the dojo wall, coming back towards her. Where are those idiots when you need them?! There was no way I could take on Kirie by myself, and she and I both knew this.  
A pink blast of energy came between us, forcing us both to retreat to our former positions.  
"What is the meaning of this?" The old woman stood at the far corner of the dojo, the detective beside her. Yusuke and her expressions were twins of each other as they came towards us, both ready to spring at a moments notice.  
Kirie shrugged, holding up her hands. " I can see when I'm outmatched; but Hiei..." She smiled as she watched the fool and Yukina rise. I moved instantly in front of them. "I will be back. We will make you come to us, no matter what the cost." With that, she vanished in a blur of speed.  
"...Who was that?!" Kuwabara demanded, pulling Yukina closer to him.  
"...Ancient history." I sheathed my sword, turning away from them. I began walking away from them.  
"Hey!" Yusuke ran in front of me. "You say that and then just leave?!"  
"...Come on, bring Yukina with you."  
He blinked "What? Why?"  
I stared at my sister, hating myself all over again. "That woman is a member of the clan that raised me, and because of me...she wants to kill Yukina."

A/N: I know this isn't the best I've ever written, and this was a really wordy chapter, but I wrote the prologue first, then jumped into the middle of the story, so now I have to go back and fill in the in-between parts. It's going to be good, I promise! I just have to get back into the element of this story, so please be kind! I think everyone can understand the main gist of this story, so please review! Please! I need all of the help I can get with this thing! (sorry for the format. I'm working with notepad people...)

roseeyes out! 


	3. Justified Anger

Hi. roseeyes here with the next chapter! ^^ I have a really good feeling about this story; there just aren't enough fanfictions told in Hiei's POV that actually sound like they're told FROM him, you know? I'm still not sure how this story is going to end, but I pray that it will be good and that I can portray Hiei like his creator wanted him to be portrayed. Enjoy!

Chapter 3

I don't think that I've ever been this angry in my entire life.  
"Hiei!" The ferry woman scolds, running to keep pace with me. King Enma's castle is as busy as ever. Goblins are running amuck with stacks of paper in their arms, being so devoted in trying to please those that rule over them, those that are more powerful them, churning their stench in the air.  
It makes me sick.  
"Hiei! You can't just do as you please here!" Botan shouts into my ear, gliding gracefully in front of the gigantic double doors that stand between me and my destination. "Lord Koenma is very busy! What gives you the right to barge in here like you own the place?!"  
She just loves trying my patience...they all do. "Move."  
"Do as he says, Botan." The old woman steps up behind me, staring the ferry woman in the eyes. "Hiei apparently has a important reason for being here, or he wouldn't have dragged all of us here with him! I want this over as quickly as possible - I don't like leaving my dojo unattended."  
Botan frowns "But Master Genkai-"  
"Do you want me to kill you?" Her pink eyes dart back to me. I bare my teeth, knowing that my murderous gaze is intimidating her. "Unless you want to die, woman...Get. Out. Of. My. Way!"  
"It's quite all right, Botan." My attention snaps back to the double doors. Apparently while this idiot was yammering, they had cracked open to reveal the toddler himself standing there, looking quite grave... Good. We can get right down to business.  
"We need to talk." I force my voice to where it sounds remotely calm, only a hint of my anger bubbling to the surface. I'm silently commending myself. My self-control keeps getting better and better...I haven't burnt the stupid castle down, yet.  
"...Very well, step inside." He turns his back to me as he walks back into his office, which is a very bold move. A small part of me approves of his trusting me not to stab him in the back...which doesn't sound like a bad idea, at the moment. "...Hiei?"  
That small sound, like the gentle chirp of a bird... I turn to look at Yukina, who is staring at me with such open caring in her eyes... The fool unconciously tightens his protective embrace around her shoulders, glaring at me. That earns a few respect points from me...just a few, though.  
"Did..." She licks her lips "that woman didn't hurt you, did she?"  
"..." I force myself to look away. Those eyes are too innocent to look at someone like me with such kindness "no."  
"Are you all right?"  
"...No," I answer honestly "but I will be." Which is the truth. After I kill Kirie and the rest of the clan...I will be, and she will be, too.

The doors close securely behind me, the object of Koenma's power. His office is the same as it always is, as if it were built for a giant. He stands in the center of the room, with his back towards me. I wait patiently, my eyes burning holes in his back. I highly doubt that the clan will be able to reach Yukina here, but.  
"Why?" I growl, sick of the waiting game.  
He doesn't stir "Why what?"  
"Why didn't you tell me that HE had died, fool?!" I snarl, only years of self-control keeping my body motionless. I don't attempt to hide the anger in my voice. "All of this could have been avoided; so why?"  
"Do you really believe that?" He turns to face me, his face utterly emotionless. "Do you honestly think that if I had told you that it would have made a bit of difference, Hiei?" I tense, gritting my teeth. "Yes, I admit, you would have known what to expect, but you still would have been in the same boat that you're in now. The clan would still be after you, Yukina would still be in danger, and you still would have been faced with this dilema - the only thing that would have changed is that we wouldn't be having this conversation right now."  
I glower at him, but I can't really argue...because he's right. Curse him, but he's right. "...What are my options?" I ask, because honestly, I don't know what to do. I've never had to deal with something like this before...I never thought that I would ever have to associate myself with the clan again.  
"At this point?" As he looks up at me, his eyes betray the age that his body refuses to. Those eyes are ancient and ultimately unmoved by time...much like my own. For a split second I wonder at what the little lord has had to experience for his eyes to look that way...but it has nothing to do with me.  
"Really, you only have three at this point." He continues the moment gone. His eyes return to their normal luster. "One, you could submit to their demands and lead them in order to save Yukina's life; although I assume that you won't do that." He assests at my disgusted expression. "Very well. Now, as for the other two...you could either go into hiding with Yukina and the two of you will be on the run for the rest of your lives, or..." His brow furrows "you could kill every one of the clan members."  
I smirk."Don't get cocky." Koenma chides as he shuffles to his desk, rummaging inside a drawer to pull out a bulging folder. "They've gotten stronger since you left them, Hiei; you should know that from your fight with Kirie." I frown as he hands the folder to me. "They know everything about you, Hiei - your strengths, your weaknesses...everything. They pulled many strings to find out as much about you as they could so that it would be easier to make you submit to them. This folder is filled with information about their strongest warriors - the ones you need to worry about. I suggest you study the files until they're branded onto your brain, because they won't stop going after Yukina until every one of them is dead, even the children will go after her. Are you okay with that?"  
Pictures are sticking out in odd places throughout the folder, all of them faces that I grew up knowing...grew up hating. "..." As I turn to leave, I pause. "If she is killed, you will be the first one that dies. Remember that."  
He says nothing as I walk out, although I hear him breathe a sigh of relief. It's good that he fears me - I don't make idle threats.

A/N: I know, it's extremely short, but I felt this was the best place to end it. I'll try to write more of it soon. Tell me what you all think! Suggestions, comments...?

roseeyes out! 


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